Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Week 9

This week is shortened because we will eat turkey and give thanks and then start to turn on the Christmas machine. Yay! I love it.
The weather is dicey. I remember one year (maybe it was 1985) when Thanksgiving Break became a whole week long because of snow and ice. I remember the relief I felt to be away from some ultra challenging classes. I taught one class in someone else's room using other people's curriculum that contained lots of films and videos that I had to preview ahead of time. That was tricky because the films were always checked out to someone else and once or twice I had to show something that I had not seen before. That made me real nervous and with good cause. Trying to pull off a lesson with unknown material and to keep the attention of a classroom stuffed with hostile learners was gut grinding. The extra snow days gave me extra days to breathe.
This week my current classes were placed in the hands of the research librarian who would present some new ideas about finding sources for research projects. That means I had to turn the class over to someone else. Again, that can be a nerve wracking situation. How will the students respond to a new face and new ways? Will they buy into the presentation or will I need to suddenly become the scowling heavy and remove someone for a "little chat"? Once the students are in front of the computers, will they sneak onto porn or game sites? Will some disappear on the trip over to the library? Will "Lester" (a made-up name) go all bonkers and ask questions that relate to his own strange and skewed perspective of the world? Will they all grow bored and then disturbingly restless as the librarian begins instructing about "truncation" and other really cool features of search engines like Google?
The whole "free" day of a guest teacher is fraught with worry and anxiety. And then, to top it all, snow and ice diminished the class counts by about 40% so this vital and by now urgent piece of research procedure will be left in the hands of the students themselves. The term is too far gone to schedule a make-up session. Week nine had a dramatic ending.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Week 8

Retirement is becoming very real at this point. Students discovered that my name is missing from the winter term schedule of classes and quizzed me about that a little closer than I was comfortable with. I am still having trouble vocalizing my intention to step away from my professional career because I don't think I've totally accepted the idea yet.
Acceptance gets more possible when I realize that yesterday was the last day I'll ever execute a lesson that includes mostly direct teaching. Oddly, I was nervous when I started the morning class and even had to excuse myself to wander down the hall for a minute just to gather my nerves. I revisited my first year of teaching and the way I felt when it was my turn to teach a unit and all my plans and lessons had to be reviewed in our team meeting time. Then as we'd make our way into the large lecture area, I'd have to fight hard to keep the butterflies at bay and the shaking hands and knees under control. I felt somewhat the same as I presented this last lesson.
And then last night, a message from the department leader requested someone to take a couple of classes winter term that haven't been assigned yet. One of them is my favorite class to teach, at my favorite time and will be held in my favorite classroom. That was hard to ignore. I did not respond, though.
I have at last accepted my own absence from future classroom settings. . .I think.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Week 7

A Veterans' Day away from school is almost more special than any other kind of day off except maybe for a snow day. No fancy meals to cook, no extra cleaning to do, no gifts to buy. It's just the person with the day off and plenty of good options to consider. I lingered over morning coffee and the crossword. I did this and that pleasant little thing around the house. I went to the Mall for serious Christmas shopping. That requires focus and solitude since the Town Center is probably my least favorite place on earth. Even so, it's pleasant to make the rounds and have some of those gift ideas jump off the shelf and into my arms. At home, a bite of lunch and then I put my feet up with my book in my lap and drifted into a wee nap. I put the finishing touches on some dinner for Pat and then left to join my knitting group. No papers to grade. No lessons to process in my mind. No driving to either campus and no parking anxiety. Just me and my own personal world. Peaceful and pleasant all day long.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Week 6

Adjunct faculty members share officespace. That makes sense in every way. I've had good relationships with the people I've shared officespace with over the years. Kevie is a young and hip instructor whose fashion sense and thin, willowy build make her a favorite with young students and a favorite of mine because of her glib yet earnest approach to the world. She's slick and she's smart and she's also a young mother of a young teenager. We've had many an interesting conversation about managing the lives of teens.
My favorite office partner is Randy. He teaches more regularly at PSU where he seems to fit in comfortably with the more liberal, globally involved scene there. Here at CCC, he is a favorite of all the students because of his charm, wit, and intelligence. He is also seriously involved with what he does in the classroom and his followers can't help but take his lead. He and I have grown our own sort of closeness over the years. I admire his life perspective and the yuppie lifestyle he and his wife have in the fashionable Laurelhurst area of Portland.
Then there's Sue. She arrived on the scene a few years ago and right away assumed her position in what I consider to be my desk area in the office. My books, files, and wall space all lend themselves to my personal identity. But I am forced to use the alternate computer which makes me put my back to the door. She holds student conferences in the office during my office hour time which interrupts my paper work and shuts down my telephone communication. In the absence of her students, she tells me constantly about life with her dog, garden, daughter, cooking, travels in and out of the metro area, and all manner of opinion about teaching and student management. She approximates my age but is new to teaching having spent many years as an RN. Impressive, huh?
Sue is not my favorite. Actually, she annoys the hell out of me on any number of levels, not the least of which is her obvious desire to get hired full time and her obvious lack of tact and diplomacy when it comes to paving the way toward that end. Still, she's a good instructor in spite of the fact that she displays a negativity toward students that I neither follow nor understand.
I was troubled to learn that her teaching schedule would match mine this term in that we would both be on different campuses at the same time. I was relieved to learn that I was the only one using office space at the other campus and never ran into her at the main campus. Whew. What a relief.
Until this morning that is. Lo and behold, my arrival at the other office found her sitting in "my" desk. My level of botheration rose. So I hugged her. I asked about her doings. And, sure enough, she got out the pictures and started in on an update of her life. I listened. I was polite and focused. When it was time for class, I sincerely wished her a good day.
Chances are I won't see much of her the rest of the term. So I was glad for a warm and friendly moment. But I won't miss Sue. I'll just always wonder if she manages to get on full-time.
P.S. Those are real names of real people.