Chocolate Porn

If you are as serious about chocolate as I am, you might see yourself in this post.  Or you might find a new way to enjoy the experience. Be aware, though, this article is intended for mature readers only and shouldn't be shared with the children in your home unless you have already identified them as junior chocoholics.

You began your addiction at an early age when you ate 12 Hershey's Kisses one right after another and stopped only because you realized that you'd get caught and would have to confess when the question "Who ate all the Kisses?" was asked.  Later you learned how to make up a decent lie before you indulged. You graduated to the Gourmet level when you began to understand the difference between m&ms and boutique chocolate including samples at See's Candy Stores. You have almost arrived at the Master level which will be attained as soon as you cannot be in your own home if no chocolate is present, you are reduced to tearing open the bag of chocolate chips you've been saving for cookie baking, and/or you have no qualms about asking little kids to share the Cadburys in their Easter baskets.

Those are the "general audience" appropriate ways to eat chocolate even though they might seem a little weird. The true way to determine if eating chocolate has become like a pornographic act for you is when you stud a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate chips and eat it in the bathroom. This becomes a wild and private experience of attaining a fix in a hurry with a quick sense of satisfaction and no guilt.

Another good way to enjoy the porn experience of chocolate is to go into a See's Candy Store for a free sample as many times as you think you can get away with it during one mall visit. If you sense that the thrill of it is becoming dangerous, then buy a chocolate Bordeaux bar and retreat to a quiet bench and count how many bites you can divide the eating process into.  This is a peak moment of indulgence and with care you can achieve the high of it gradually and powerfully. Bordeaux bars are truly wonderful and can provide any number of chocolate highs in varying approaches.

Now you are beginning to understand that your addiction is not something to laugh about. You have no pride when it comes to achieving maximum enjoyment of chocolate. And the final test: you will no longer eat Tootsie Rolls because they do not really qualify as chocolate.