Monday, December 1, 2014

Happy Holidays!

Holidays at my Mom and Dad's house were exactly like you would picture a scene from life in the 50's.  Dad was at the head of the table, Mom at the foot and several relatives and friends in between. The feast was the traditional one that is featured in Good Housekeeping magazine and we ate until we could barely move ourselves off our chairs.

What you didn't see was the sweat on Mom's brow, the kitchen counters full of dirty dishes, the relatives who were not speaking to us that year, and "friends" of my Mom and Dad who looked like people whose next abode would probably be under the Marion Street Bridge. I figured it out when I got older that these folks were people my parents felt sorry for because they didn't have a holiday dinner destination for various interesting reasons.  Over time, these guests included the checkout girl at Safeway, Mom's hairdresser, Larry from  the night shift at work, and my Dad's cousin Frammy who used to be married to my aunt and so on.  I learned over time not to feel uneasy around these strangers even if some of them did make several trips out the their cars to "check" on something and came back smelling funny.

No matter the company, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were traditional warm gatherings where the hostess served wonderful holiday food that was lovingly and perfectly prepared. Mom and Dad have both been gone for a long time now and try as I may, I can't replicate the scene. For one thing, I am not allowed to host either event because, as my daughter puts it, I "turn into a bitch." Well, so what?  So did my own mom but she still had the gracious smile on her face when she sat down at the table (last one to sit, of course). Apparently, my true feelings after the kitchen marathon are not of the "gracious smile" type.

Nowadays, my daughter and her family go to the other Gramma's house for Thanksgiving but we do get to go to her house for Christmas.  We each bring an appetizer and dinner's ready.  My husband, sister and I go to my son's house for Thanksgiving where the turkey has been prepared on a Traeger. We are instructed that we can arrive any time after 4 and must be gone by 8:30.

My sister had a stern talk with me a few years ago letting me on the news that no matter what, we cannot replicate holiday meals from the past.  "Accept them for what they are now and let the rest turn into special memories of times past," she told me.  I'm still working on that and it's becoming easier since my daughter-in-law (the vegan) lets me bring the dressing, the gravy, and the pumpkin pie.  And even though I'm a good cook and watched and helped my mother cook many a holiday meal, my current dinner contributions don't cut the mustard, so to speak.  Even though I read up on how to prepare my assigned items and talk to experienced cooks, my dressing tastes like somebody tried to resurrect a dish from stale bread and funny tasting broth.  The gravy is either too thin or too thick and tasted one year like wine you can buy at the outlet grocery store for a couple of bucks.  The only thing that really turns out well is the pumpkin pie which unfailingly comes out looking like a magazine ad and tasting even better.  My pie crust is superb.

So what I take away from all this (thank you, Sister) is that each holiday is its own special event and needs to be enjoyed for what it holds THIS year and not for what it was like in 1959.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!

2 comments:

  1. Thanks, Terry! I love your down-to-earth take on things. "..the relatives who were not speaking to us that year…" Oh, yes. Merry merry!!

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  2. I read it, I read it! Are you proud of me? Our family may be messy, non-traditional, and moody, but I wouldn't have it any other way. ~AEM

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