Two Gifts

Among the many gifts that have come my way this holiday season, two stand out as most special. One was the holiday party I attended with my knitting group. I drove up to a scene through the windows that was Dickens-like in its traditional appearance. Women were placing food on the dining table, others were working in the kitchen and still others were visiting in the main living area. All the rooms were aglow with Christmas lights and happy smiles. Inside, the smell of homemade soup, the fresh green of the tree, the dogs' homemade stockings hanging jauntily on the mantel, the row of brightly wrapped gifts and the steady hum of the voices made for a welcoming scene. Then the carefully prepared meal of three different soups and salads along with homemade bread and the traditional cake from the Market of Choice made up our special dinner. Then the gifts. And then a group song led by our truly gifted singers Betsey, April and Mary Lou blended the happiness of each of us into a combined holiday glow that kept me warm all the way home.

Special gift number two came out of the dense fog of yesterday when my sister and I spotted one of the snowy owls that have migrated from the Arctic to spend time here in Oregon. We didn't really think we'd see it, but only ten seconds out of the car Bobbie was motioning me to join her since she'd seen the owl resting on an electrical box in a huge field between I-5 and the Albany Mennonite Village. No hiking, hunting, traipsing or searching was needed. Just up a little knoll in front of the car and we had a front row seat at the showing of this magnificent creature who'd come from so far away. We stood and watched until the cold drove us back to the warm car. We got a good long look through our own binoculars and through a scope that some other birders were kind enough to share with us. The white was so white on that bird and it was so carefully contrasted to the dark bars of edgings on the tips of its feathers. The owl was composed, regal and self-assured occasionally turning its head to look directly at us. His feathers were all ruffled out to preserve body warmth and we felt full of triumphant owlness as we made our way back to the car. What a gift.

December Wellness

Hmmm. Last night we celebrated the new kitchen counter tops with a meal of nachos and beer and followed that up with ice cream and donuts on the way home from the restaurant. Not so wellness oriented.

BUT: I continue to workout! I think that counts for something. I work out with my p.t. twice a week for an hour and try to do solo activities two other days. I'm not sure what's happening beyond the fact that I can get through almost any day without a nap.

Soooooooooooo food continues to be a challenge. I can't get a good handle on my addictive eating but am still open to ideas. But I am definitely moving the body around a lot more than before.

The pursuit of wellness therefore is ongoing.

Books for Christmas

We took the books to the Portland Audubon Nature Store Saturday and to the Oregon Historical Society Holidaycheer event today. Both were exciting places to sell books for different reasons. We meet interesting and colorful people wherever we go to sign and sell books but the Nature Store was a class venue with a crackling fire, real piano music and top notch holiday treats all festooned with eye-catching displays of all sorts of gift ideas related to nature. People trekked in and out before and after hiking around the local trails stopping off for a peek at the birds feasting at the many feeders and snagging a gift or two while they were at it. We sold lots of books and enjoyed every minute.

Today we were at a huge 60+ author event at the Oregon Historical Society. This was their 44th year to offer books by Oregon authors in a holiday setting. Loads of people streamed in and around all day long to see big time authors such as Barbara Roberts, Gerry Frank, and starring the famous author Jean Auel of The Clan of the Cave Bear fame. Bobbie figured there were about 200 people in line to get their books signed by her. She is an elderly woman who looked a bit frail and not all that excited to be gushed over yet again but she obviously knows her book selling duties. We were right across the room from her. It was fun to pretend to be as rich and famous as she is knowing that our books reach their own little audience of people who are aware of the importance and pleasure to be found in nature. I shook hands with the delightful Barbara Roberts and got to tell Steve Duin how much I enjoy his column. . .most of the time.

All in all, it was another great weekend for owls and pikas in bookland. Thank you to all of you who attended. I hope you had as much fun as we did. See you in Eugene next weekend!

The Gratitude Service

My life is laden with good fortune and I had a unique chance to share my gratitude for it at a recent gathering at my campus. Clackamas Community College held a Gratitude Service in the Language Arts Center yesterday afternoon. Staff, faculty and students were all invited to attend and read a poem, essay, short story or any other verbal way to express thanks.

Sue M. shared a couple of her blog entries posted last summer from her stay in Czechoslovakia. She was thankful for the kindness of strangers who helped her overcome some physical pain and the emotional agony of being homesick. A student read her contest winning poem that will be featured on the college president's holiday card. Kate G. recited a stunning poem that she had created to express gratitude for the gentle power of the natural world. Ryan D. read an amazingly descriptive tribute to his now deceased family dog. There were more poems and another speaker recanted accomplishments on a global level that the entire earth family can be grateful for. I shared pieces from my "Gratitude Journal" and featured artwork by my grandgirl Mary and a note of gratitude from my personal trainer who couldn't be there but wanted to. It was a comforting gathering of people expressing genuine thanks for good things in their lives and turned out to be a shiny life experience for me. What a wonderful preparation for turkey eating tomorrow!

November Wellness

My, my-November already. Summer just BAMMED shut and it's cold today! All the better for a vigorous workout with my personal trainer. I really like her but I crawl unwillingly to the workout which is challenging and tests muscles I never even thought I had. All the while, Angie screams, "Good going, Terry! Keep it up! Keep it up!" Two good activities today were the snowshoe machine and the calf/hamstring stretch. Okay, the snowshoe machine isn't its real name but I think you can picture the thing with that description. She left me alone to do so many prescribed minutes on it and I actually completed without wanting to turn off the machine. Then to the calf/hamstring stretch which involves lying on one's back and strapping a gigantic rubber band like thing under the shoe and then pointing the leg toward the ceiling and to one side and then the other. HOLY COW! Do I ever have tight muscles! They amaze my instructor and she cheers as I grunt and groan. "Keep breathing, Terry, keep breathing!" she yells over the pathetic sounds coming out of my mouth. And I have to "hold it, hold it" for so long that I think my legs will snap. But I am having great success with this sort of physical activity. I am beginning to notice a teeny tiny bit of strength coming into far corners of my body. I can even do a number of crunches without rolling over on my side moaning and begging for mercy.

But walking isn't working out. I don't like it anymore and I'm astounded at that. I walked for years and years and really enjoyed it particularly when I walked with my good friend JoAnn. But these days walking causes breathing stress which is uncomfortable. So I'm going to fall away from that for awhile. Maybe when I'm even stronger it will be better. . .if I try again.

And weight watcher eating is a total bust. I don't want to "journal" my meals. (By the way, when did the word "journal" become a verb?) I don't want that much salad. I don't want to think about vegetables so much and fruit was never ever my idea of dessert. So I'm just going to eat. I am what I am and I'll get fit the best way I know how. Unfortunately, that includes doing my best to help Pat eat a whole box of Joe's Donuts on the way over Mt. Hood last weekend. Those donuts rival Krispy Kreme and Voodoo Donuts as well. We managed to get the whole box finished by late afternoon Friday after a Thursday afternoon purchase.

So eating in a priss pure and saintly manner has wavered and activity has increased. We all work at fitness in our own little ways.

About facebook

I am not all that comfortable with my facebook presence. I'm sure it's because I am used to communicating the old-fashioned way by e-mailing or texting. ( I can't even believe I just said that!) But Sarah showed me a trick about how to avoid reading some of the posts that take up lots of room (did I say that kindly enough?) so I'll hang on for a while longer. I can easily see, however, how people get addicted to this process. I find myself checking to see what's going on a couple of times per day (this seems like plenty of times, don't you think?) So I'll keep in touch with my peeps using a combination of social media along with an occasional snail mail which feels very comfortable indeed. (Great picture of the praying mantis, Brian! That seems like a good thing to show on facebook!)

On My Mind

I took a chance and looked into my own mind this morning to try to pin down what I am thinking about today. The first identifiable thought had to do with coffee probably because I was several cars back in the drive thru line at Dutch Bros. Their coffee is between okay and good mostly because it's not always hot. But their store is convenient on my way to campus so I get a little bit excited just to have some store brewed coffee in hand as I finish my drive. Then there's Starbucks. I love the whole Starbucks atmosphere and you can find it in all its familiarity just about any where you go in the USA. Sometimes I even become a Starbucks rat when I need a place to work other than at my own desk at home. All the other coffee houses have decent enough coffee and it's interesting to hear what loyal customers have to say. I have to tell you, though, I had my all time best latte yesterday at the little espresso bar outside Nordstrom. The coffee was absolutely perfect: rich, aromatic and flavored just precisely as I ordered it "easy on the syrup." The barista was a charming not so young man who called me " My Dear." How pleasantly old-fashioned it was. And speaking of baristas, let me return to thoughts of Dutch Bros. The one I patronize at the top of the hill has a to-die-for sexy young coffee maker who winks at me and calls me, "darlin'." I go back sometimes just to get an eye and earful of him.

I'm also heavily thinking about removing my presence from facebook. More on that another time.

The Man I Slept With Last Night

The October Wellness report begins on this last day of September. I need to tell you about my sleep partner of last night. His name is Travis and he's 34 years old. He bikes to work every day, is the father of a three month old son, and runs the Sleep Lab at the hospital. I had lots of time to chat with him as he wired me up with 27 different attachments that monitored various body activities while I slept last night. Most of them were attached to my scalp so my hair was full of this gritty, sticky stuff when I left the hospital this morning.

It was an almost pleasant and close to comfortable event. The room tried hard not to be a hospital room but there was no escaping the bad decor and the just there for function bathroom. Its best feature was its outstanding cleanliness which I approved highly. But I did sleep after watching some HGTV on a monitor that was so high up that I couldn't really see it with my glasses and couldn't really see it without my glasses so I gave up on that and read for awhile. I talked to Sarah on the phone for a few minutes, read some more, than alerted Travis just by talking that I was ready to go to sleep. He came in and plugged the hose in and placed the C-PAP mask on my face and bade me a quiet "good night."

I figured it would take me a long time to go to sleep but in what seemed like mere moments, Travis was back telling me it was time to get up. I slept the whole night through which is extremely rare for me. I did this in spite of the weird mask, the hard bed, the lack of fresh air, and not enough reading time. I am very impressed with the C-PAP and can't wait to have one of my own.

Then this morning I made several calls to various doctors for a follow-up appt. with my sleep doctor, one with my fancy downtown cardiologist, one for a colonoscopy (lucky me), and one for a mammogram and a bone density test on the same day. All went smoothly; can you believe that? The only glitch was that the hospital couldn't find the order for the mammogram and the bone density test. That took a few more phone calls and ended up that my primary care doctor's office will need to re-fax the order. That's not too bad and not too inconvenient. I can easily try to rework that this afternoon.

So there. All medical considerations are attended to and I'm still lurching around the gym floor with my personal trainer. The eating program is a little wobbly at this point but I haven't given up. Are you as up to date with your own personal wellness program as I am?????

Sorry, Rita

Rita is our department secretary. She is a classic beauty with her dark eyes, flawless creamy skin and a serene face played up by almost black naturally curly hair. And to go along with the good looks is her remarkable efficiency, astonishing sense of detail and a calm, soothing manner. Another notable quality is her ability to be professionally responsible for all the really interesting and intriguing people who pass in and out of her office and the no doubt often juicy drama that inevitably takes place when several English teachers work together. She has provided me with much needed help for the many years that I have been an adjunct member of the department. Going beyond the call of duty hardly describes her effort to help all of us run our teaching lives smoothly and successfully. I have the highest degree of respect for her.

So the guilt I feel for upsetting her during a department meeting last week is still rattling around in the front of my brain. Here's what happened: I took the opportunity to sneak into the work room during a small break to "run off a few copies." We are not supposed to run more than ten copies at a time. A hundred and ten copies isn't even close but I figured I could just bang them out and no one would be the wiser. Unfortunately, I jammed the machine after only three copies hence my need to summon Rita from the meeting. She was not happy and drew my attention to the notice that reads "one sided copies only" which is why my project jammed up the works. She then spent some precious minutes unjamming everything and making sure the machine was back to normal while I prayed hard that she wouldn't have to call the repairman in. When the machine was healthy again and I was trying to shower her with gratitude, she quietly mentioned that it wasn't the machine repair that was troublesome, it was the fact that she was not in the meeting to cover her secretarial duties as she should have been.

I felt pit in the stomach bad for selfishly causing her this interruption and inconvenience especially since she has always been so prompt and good about taking care of my needs over the years. I was tempted to publicly apologize to her after I slinked back into the meeting but couldn't bring myself to do so because then I'd have to publicly confess that not only was I cheating about the number of copies I was making, but I also didn't read the notice about "one-sided copies only."

She said she forgave me and I hope she did but I still feel so bad. I am so sorry, Rita. You are too good in so many ways to be treated in any way but respectfully and honestly.

Post A and Post B

A. Wellness Update: oops-a bit of a gain today and I knew it would happen. I didn't want it to happen and I was hoping it wouldn't but it did. But I don't feel all that bad about it. My personal trainer put her finger in my face and cautioned me not to beat myself up. "Just get back on track." She repeated the ideas of not punishing myself and getting back on track enough that I didn't feel quite as hollow with guilt as I had when I arrived at her studio. Then the Weight Watcher lady advised me to focus on the good choices I'd made this last week rather than all the cake and other birthday celebration food I'd consumed. Funny, though. I couldn't bring even one good choice to mind. All I could think about was the chocolate birthday cake that I ate at three different celebrations. Somehow the memory of that stays with me better than the cauliflower and broccoli I ate with my Barbie-sized sandwich at lunch yesterday.

B. This is New Roof Week here at our house. The crew arrived early Monday and are still here staple pounding and throwing large heavy objects off the roof onto the ground. I have stopped jumping in fear that the falling objects might be roofers' bodies. I've also stopped straightening all the wall art 50 or 60 times a day. I still expect faces to be looking at me outside the windows and I'm still trying to sneak showers by not turning on the bathroom light or the fan in case the workers might be passing that window. Not that my body would be of much interest to them-I just want to protect them from what their wives will look like in future decades.

My Needy Peeps

There are currently three of my people on my Focus List. One is almost hospital bound with a spouse who is recovering from a serious surgery. A second is working through a troubled marriage and a job loss at the same time. A third is putting the pieces of a life together after a particularly frightening psychotic episode. All three are in crisis mode of one kind or another with the first one easily more grounded and stronger than the other two but still needing positive energy from the outside. The third on the list has a helpful and concerned support group to help see the way through this dangerous time.

It is the second one on the list who is really the most in need. I can almost always come up with some way or idea to help someone close to me through a rough time but this one challenges every fiber of my being. I cannot think of a single practical way to help this person navigate the current boulder-filled road. The absolute only thing I can do is to be ready to help if and when the need arises and to continue to love and trust that a way will open itself up. The person is suffering the depths of dark despair and I wonder daily if any light at all is shining on the road. I commit myself to a continual offering of some of the positive energy that the good place in my life right now finds me with. I have an extra strong shoulder to lean on and want my people in need to lean away.

A fourth list member has been moved to the less active Focus List. This person has made the way to a new life from a broken marriage after a trial of several years and a journey of thousands of miles. I wish the other two crisis-laden people in my life could know the details of this success and learn from the events involved that anything is possible if you consider all the angles and give yourself enough power to allow the light to beam through. Sometimes it shines on things that we least expect to provide direction and answers.

Wellness Update

I hereby extend my Wellness experiment into the month of September. I lost 7.8 pounds and ate healthily this month. There were no (ZERO) eating binges of chocolate items or chips or party food. Those things were around, accessible and available but I made good choices. That doesn't mean I didn't eat them; it means that I didn't eat them to excess as I usually do. I ate fruit and vegetables to the point that I got tired of chewing lettuce and crunching carrots, but I didn't leave them out of my daily eating.

My personal trainer brought me along slowly but surely compensating for the arm injury I suffered the first of July when I fell off Amy's bike. I am stronger and am conscious of where my body is stiff and tight. I try to move the stiff parts every day and walk in the mornings when I don't go to training.

I'm proud that I made it all the way through one month! And, by the way, today is a special day because it's my First Day of Medicare. I think that should be celebrated. I will celebrate that and my birthday by eating my all time favorite treat: homemade chocolate cake on Sunday when the family gets together to celebrate Labor Day. Hooray for me and good luck with the September Wellness extension!

Here's Bobbie literally holding down the fort at Bob's Beach Books yesterday. It was so windy in Lincoln City that vendors would periodically need to throw their own bodies over their wares to keep them from escaping with the wind. It was a gorgeous day in spite of the big wind and we ended up selling many books. It was our first time to market the new pika book so we were extra excited about our sales. Coincidentally, the Oregonian featured a story and big photo about pikas and how they are reacting to climate change in Friday's paper. You can see the laminated article in the lower left corner of the above photo. Also notice Bobbie's hand protecting the pika books while her hair blows in the brisky wind. We celebrated with a little dinner at Kyllo's. Bobbie loved her fish tacos and I liked my clam chowder and salad a lot. We topped the day off by sharing some darn good marionberry cobbler and I still managed not to exceed my powerpoints allowance for the day. Yay! (A Fitness report should appear within a few days.)

A Boobs Clea Summer

My grandgirls have been Barbie obsessed for the last two years. They have an embarrassing number of the anatomically exaggerated dolls and drawersfull of their accessories in addition to the amazing Dream House that Grampa and I gave them last Christmas. There are also Barbie cars, campers, and airplanes to transport all the Barbies and their Liv doll friends anywhere around the bonus room they may wish to go. I'm glad the girls are smart, artistic, brave people who have many other interests in their lives in spite of the fact that they always seem to fall back on dramatic play with the army of Barbies.

The extended Barbie family greeted two new members this summer. They are, I think, Liv dolls and their names are, uh, Boobs Clea and Boobs Clea. They are fraternal twins. One is Caucasian and the other is African American. They both have long flowing hair and blue eyes. Last I saw of them they were both naked from the waist up and it's easy to see why they received the names they have.

The girls are perfectly serious about these dolls. They are not being disrespectful with their choice of names. They explain to me that the girls were actually named Clea by their mother but as they grew up (they're 19 now) , their friends were impressed with their looks and started calling them Boobs out of admiration and respect. Oh, and by the way, their mother named them both Clea when they were born because she really liked that name.

Amy (Mary and Alicia's mother) sometimes has to explain the origin and birth of the two Cleas when the girls are engaged in play with them. They make several references to them that anyone in the play area can hear so guests get that puzzled look on their faces when they hear someone calling for Boobs Clea. Amy then feels obligated to explain.

I didn't play with Barbies when I was young. I think they weren't around in the 50's when I was a kid. And I never really understood their charm, if you can call it that. They always seemed like overdressed, over mature girls who went to the Prom too many times. But I tell you what: I sure am intrigued by the advent of Boobs Clea.

The Wellness of August

Creaky bones and joints; stiff muscles and a touchy back; too many large portions with cheese this and chocolate flavored that have all done so much damage over time that I have declared August to be my personal wellness month. I dragged myself back to Weight Watchers last week where I happily learned that participants get more points than ever and all fruits and most vegetables are now "free" all the time. What a deal. So as I get hungry (now for instance), I can dig around for some berries and carrots anytime I want to. Not that I think those make the best snacks, but I'm trying to do the re-thinking required here. I thought I would be bothered by the amount of Weight Watching thinking that I have to do, but as my daughter says, "When are you NOT thinking about food anyway?" That's just way too true. So good-by regular cheese and hello to reduced fat Tillamook! So long butter and mayo and greetings to mustard and tomatoes! One month. One month at a time.

Another part of the Wellness of August is the personal trainer. Her name is Angie and she is the big buck item in this project. I had my first hour session today and survived with minimal sweat and still able to breathe comfortably. I'm sure this will change as she gets to know what my body needs to get itself running more smoothly but I really like having a live person to help me understand my aging body. No hiding in the back row of the aerobics class here! She is sensitive to my recent arm injury, gets it about my bad back and doesn't laugh at my work out outfits that aren't really outfits at all. Rather, they are just a practical application of old shorts and a clean everyday t-shirt. No fancy shoes either. I'm in this for the long haul and want to spend my health dollars on nutritious food and sound exercise instruction.

That yonder sky

Unseen Photos

We just returned from beautiful Central Oregon. I took several photos of the piney country in such an artsy manner that the mountains looked like pointy cupcakes frosted in what we used to call 7-minute frosting. The sky above and around them was knock out yonder blue and a few shots had stringy clouds dancing in frayed conga lines just here and there. And the shots of the grandgirls playing in the water captured pixie happy faces through bubbles and swirls of spray. The best shot was one Amy took of the girls with us as we lounged in our gigantic vacation bed one morning.

On the same scan card were pictures of sweatered trees in Seattle, friends sipping coffee in the early morning Elliot Bay air, and some much treasured shots of my favorite Woodland relatives at our recent Aunts Picnic not to mention those rare photos of my old friends in Stayton from a recent visit we took for a walkette in their beautiful Wilderness Park.

Of course, I did. . .I got too smarty pants with my techy camera and somehow deleted all, every single one of those good photos. My life memories are just as easy to lose these days as they are to capture and as simple as technology seems to be, I need to remember not to get too confident with my words and pictures.

(The photo above was taken with my cell phone. Not all was lost.)

Summer Solstice

Today is the first day of summer. An easy way to celebrate is to do what the tourists do in Hawaii. After a fun day Hawaiian-style, island visitors head for the beach at the end of the day. They go specifically to enjoy the sunset. They go early carrying beach chairs and all the beach stuff they might want and need along with snacks and drinks in coolers. They find a good spot, get comfortable or maybe dip into the warm water and then settle in to watch the sun in all its dramatic blaze and glory dip into the sea. The sight is always different and always magnificent.

We can do the same thing here at home. Choose a favorite outdoor spot in the yard or head on down to a nearby river and watch the longest day of the year fade into what we hope will be endless summer days of fun and good weather. If you're with others, ask them to share any of the summer solstices that they might remember. When I was 15, I spent the longest day of the year in the front row at the Outdoor Theater at the Shakespeare Festival watching Romeo and Juliet. It was the beginning of a lifelong love affair with the old Bard.

Destination du jour

Croatia. The travel destination that seems to be more and more popular and frequently featured on TV travel programs. Even HGTV has had a program or two following potential home buyers looking in Croatia. And I even have a former student who will be living there soon.

So what's the attraction? I sort of know where it is-east of Italy across a large body of water on the Dalmatian coast. My friend Nancy told me that so I can visualize its location. She was there just last month. And my friend Kristi has cruised along the coast as well. They both say it is beautiful and inviting so I googled it to make sure of the location and to see some photos. The water world of this country is indeed gorgeous. And I read about some terrific things to see and do in Zagreb. But it's a little weird that the number one attraction posted on one site is a cemetery. But reading further, I learned that the cemetery is rich with historic and important art.

I also noticed that I can get a round trip airline ticket for just about a thousand dollars. So air travel for both of us would be about $2000.00. Then we'd have to pay for the trip to the cemetery and all the meals we'd eat in Zagreb and I don't even know what the food is like. I'd certainly want to do at least a one or two day cruise to enjoy the coastline with a couple of nice stops at points of interest. And then maybe we could catch a cruise ship and float around to some other places that I might be a little more familiar with.

Guess what? We're going to take the train to Seattle with friends and we'll goof around there for a few days. After a little rest back home, we'll take off for Central Oregon for some fun in the sun. August will find us at the Coast a time or two for some beach walking and chowder eating. None of this is as exciting or as exotic as Croatia, but we'll have a good time.

An Untimely Death

My computer is dying. It doesn't keep up with my keyboarding. It loads everything very slowly. It won't get where I want it to go without an excess of wheezing and whirring. I can't look at everything on facebook although that may be one of those disguised blessings.

But rescue is near! My e-mail is still able to inform me that a new computer is coming. It's somewhere in Texas right now but will magically appear on my doorstep sometime tomorrow. So everything is already backed up on an external hard drive and all systems will maybe be "go" by the end of the week. We'll see. In the meanwhile, you can view my website at wirthwhilebooks.com. You can still see it at wirthwhilebooks.webs.com but the new address seems a little more techy and up to date.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The Ride Home

Today I drove home from Salem under Biblical-like skies that could easily be imagined in the background painting of the Sistine Chapel. The clouds were black bottomed and rimmed with gold edges around their neon pink tops. The sun was sending shafts of low light that highlighted a gigantic rainbow that followed the bucolic scenes of rustic barns and fields bursting with blooming nursery stock. I could almost imagine God's gigantic hand reaching out to Adam's in the foreground of my mind.
For some reason, this scene made me start thinking about things I wish I didn't know:

• Both Abraham Lincoln and his wife probably suffered from what we know as clinical depression.



• Fake snow is made out of soap flakes and not out of any watery material at all.



• Hamlet wasn't really as young as Shakespeare would have us believe.



• Anthony Geary had an affair with Elizabeth Taylor. (Wait! I think I like knowing this.)



• Tectonic plates and their random movement cause earthquakes. I'd rather that earthquakes were more cosmic in nature.



• "Great you pull pieces" is a phrase I am somewhat embarrassed to admit I understand.



• My 2005 RAV 4 doesn't really get good gas mileage.

And then the sun sank in a Maui-like blaze into the Willamette River as I headed the back way home off the old highway. I had no way of knowing what caused that awesome sight other than to turn a wholly natural and beautiful event into something atmospheric and scientific. I didn't want to know; I just wanted to get one last glimpse of its wonder.

Almost Lost

Sometimes I feel as if I am swirling faster and faster and getting close to a mean vortex of watery cyberspace. I'm rather comfortable with this blog, but facebook and the construction of my website sometimes leave me feeling as if I'm floating aimlessly on a tiny raft in the middle of the Willamette River during this Spring Chinook season. Fairly regularly, I bump into a boat on the hog line and the crew gives me a push in the right direction. But occasionally I have to paddle anxiously to get out of the way of a seal lion determined to steal a salmon. Will I ever make it to the place where I can successfully spawn a spot in the complex social network?
I can't locate my domain name since I let it expire. I know it's out there; Cyberspace lets me know. But I can't have it back until I contact so and so with this and that number and piece of information. So that push to the raft gets me nowhere. I can't navigate around my website without Kelly and Sarah's help so I'll just paddle around until they wash up. Facebook does not offer the island of contacts that I looked forward to. Everyone assumes that I know how to use it with ease and precision. To borrow another metaphor, it would be like taking a typing class in the 50's or 60's without really knowing what a typewriter is. People just assume that I know things that I don't know and they tell me every time that " It's easy. You just. . .". Right. Now pardon me while I try to build a better raft out of the jetsam and flotsam all around me.

Mother's Day

I always enjoyed planning a Mother's Day event for my mother. She, like every other living mother, loved whatever it was we came up with. The colorfully decorated paper plate with fake flowers stuck into it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw. That cake I made with the too thin ugly pink frosting was the best she ever ate. And, oh, how she loved it when my sister and I took her out for a special meal. The Silver Falls Conference Center was the best place of all. Never mind that my sister and I thought we were in heaven just to be at that park.
My own kids really outdo themselves. This year we, meaning just Brian and Amy and myself, went to the Cornelius Pass Road House where we had the crunchiest, tastiest, freshest tater tots on the planet. We drank the mildest yet most flavorful beer in Oregon. And Brian picked up the tab for all of us because he was honoring not only me, but Amy's role as a mother as well.
I saw people purchasing roses and store bought cakes at the grocery store who were obviously just that moment on their way to their mothers' houses. They were signing cards on each other's backs. They were hauling out body fragrances done up in clear wrap festooned with gaudy ribbons. The deli was doing brisk business packing up meals to take to Mom and the sushi bar was crammed with folks buying little clam shells full of fishy things for all the moms waiting for something exotic. Birdhouses, blueberry beer, plants and flowers, all manner and shape of chocolate, Jergen's Lotion, bestselling paperbacks-all going to Mom's to join the school projects already there. And guess what? Every single one of those hastily purchased items was the best thing your mom ever saw, smelled, tasted, felt, heard or experienced. It will only be outdone by next year's gift.

Sneak Preview

Here it is-the first version of the new book! You are among the privileged few who get the first peek. We are so pleased and excited!

What Next?

Yesterday after the mid-term I was aware in my peripheral vision that students were making an extra long stop in front of the board where I had written the homework assignment. They had stopped to take a picture of it with their camera phones! And I'd say that more than half of a class of 27 students used the same process to "record" the assignment. New one on me. . .and, yes, I have staged a mini-comeback in my teaching career.

With A Little Help From My Friend Kelly

Please check out the update on my website. It's definitely evolving with Kelly's help. It's also definitely a work in progress that won't really be totally ready for the world for a while yet. I am really beginning to enjoy this cyberworld setting. (I think.)

Check It Out

I sort of learned how to set up a link. I'll try to work with it to make it more visually friendly. Click on it and take a peek at the draft of my website which is in its infant stage. There's a lot I don't know and some things I don't want to know. I'm working on that link thing and I need to figure out how to rearrange the homepage so that I get some text on the right hand side. Give me some help if you feel like it. I'd love that.

HELP!

The computer is trumping my life again as I try to build a new website. That's why I've been absent so long. I am cheap and don't want to put out the money so I'm going at it on my own and so far it's only cost me $100.00. This doesn't exactly match up with my goal of getting set up for free but I don't know what else to do. I can't even recount the story and sequence of what I've done in spite of the fact that I took fairly careful notes. So I'll spare you the gory details and just say that the bare bones are ready. I will spend as much time as I'm willing and able to give to getting things all packaged in an attractive way and editing everything that needs edited. Well, I have to go to my website work now. I hope to have more and maybe good news about it soon.

Birds and Break

We spent Monday of Spring Break at the Columbia Gorge Discovery Center in The Dalles. We were invited to be part of a program about raptors sharing our book with the young audiences. What a special day it turned out to be! We got yet another good look at some hawks, falcons and owls which always makes me feel special because of our special connection to our own baby great horned owl.

The manager bought our lunch and we chatted with an interesting young woman who is here from a modeling agency in New York working on a photo shoot for L.L. Bean. And, boy, did they ever have a gorgeous setting for some of their pictures. They were using the gorge hills on the north side as a backdrop through the huge picture windows on that side of the museum. In the morning the light was shimmering in a sun slanting through the high clouds sort of way with a hint of a misty aura. The camera men were dancing around busily. I'm sure they were trying to take advantage of that spectacular light. The models moved like giraffes through the museum-tall, graceful, and beautifully poised with perfect faces and skinny, skinny bodies. They ate plates of fruit for lunch while Bobbie and I scarfed down deli sandwiches and cookies.

The models and crew spent the last day or two shooting in some old barns in Trout Lake and will be at Timberline today. So they will get some real Oregon charm in their backgrounds. We were amused at the attempt made by the crew to look rugged and casual with shiny, pristine boots and down vests with no mud specks on them. They were plainly not from around these parts but were trying to blend in. They certainly kept all of us spectators at an arm's length except for the nice young woman we spoke with at noon.

So a good day was followed by an even better one. . .BOBBIE FOUND ANOTHER GREAT HORNED OWL NEST! And she spotted at least one chick! I will buzz down to see it no matter how much gas costs!

De-Kindled

Books have powered my life since I was five years old. That's when the relationship between letters, words and meanings all began to make sense to me. I was thrilled when I could check out my own library books. In high school, I did my homework on the bus so I could read for pleasure after dinner. That kind of reading disappeared when I went to college but returned with even more energy as I was raising babies. The constant motion of taking care of small children was rewarded with many, many hours of reading late into the night when time belonged to me.

Then years of teaching sharpened my knowledge of how to share books and reading with other people so that they might take similar journeys into worlds of all kinds.

Books feel good and smell good. They have front and back covers that you can read and assess. You can skim the front flap and learn a little about the book you're thinking of reading and peek at the author information on the back flap to check on what possible connection you might have with him or her. You can study the publication page which provides more fascinating information than most people think. You can study maps or photos or illustrations. You can wonder how the prologue will relate to the rest of the book. You can tuck your favorite book mark into it as you set it aside. You can mash it into your suitcase or even find a smaller "to go" book when you travel. You can take it to a special friend when you finish it, talk about it with your book club members, recommend it to others, leave it in a restaurant on purpose, sell it, trade it, save it, or put it on top of the stack of those already read. And then you can go back to the book store or to the library to search for yet another book adventure.

That all disappeared for me when I bought a Kindle. I tried. I really did. But the whole organic experience of reading was gone when I held the little screen in front of me. I tried for several days then did an experiment. I went to the book store and picked up The Tiger's Eye, a book I had sampled on the Kindle. I hefted it, studied the richly colored book jacket, read the flaps and sighed with pleasure. Then I touched, caressed, thumbed and skimmed several other possible reads. Then I went straight to Best Buy and returned the Kindle. Maybe someday I'll try it again, but for now I am content with the giant new Ken Follett that my sister gave me for Christmas. Yes, it's tricky to manage in a supine position especially with progressive lenses and growing cataracts, but it's a real book complete with a real read. It doesn't feel like some sort of Fahrenheit 451 experience. I'm a happy reader again.

Marge at 15

Marge had a great cat life. She lived like a real cat after we moved to town but she was in her element in the country where she spent the first 11 years of her life. She had lots of fun picking on April who in turn picked on Caesar causing the occasional wild animal rampage on the long deck. Marge spent her summers in the woods stalking and killing her pick of the local cat prey and never once had a tangle with a skunk or a raccoon. Her old-fashioned cat life kept her outdoors curled up behind a warm planter or cozied into one her drawer beds in the garage. She loved the attention of her humans and never failed to seek it from whomever was outside for whatever reason. Take the garbage out; pet the cat. Take five out on the deck to breathe in the good air; pet the cat.

It did take her awhile to adjust to life in town and she never made friends with any of the dozen or so cats next door but she spent her last years lounging on the faux rock pond and stalking the squirrels. She had the best of food, the best of her people's love and a safe yard to enjoy all that the cat world had to offer.

But her kidneys were failing; she had some sort of neurological disorder, and her heartbeat was alarmingly high. Time to say good-by to Marge who left this earth yesterday and has gone into the cat universe. She had a good, good life. She was the last of the children's pets to leave our household. I'm glad that our March Linnea calendar features a beautiful drawing of a black cat looking at the world from behind a clay planting pot. It is a perfect tribute to Marge the cat who lived all her 15 years with us.

Hearts and Dollars

Happy Valentine's Day! My valentine and I exchanged boxes of candy and cards this morning so I allowed myself an after-breakfast treat. I will have to work hard not to supplement it with more treats just because it's a special day. I have absolutely no trouble finding a reason to make a day special enough to have chocolate. How about this-the laundry is all finished, folded and sitting on the bed ready to be put away. Let's celebrate with chocolate! Or maybe-it's time to watch another episode of "Harry's Law." Let's stop by the chocolate box on our way to the TV!

I have given Pat the same valentine for the fourth year now. It's one I made in 2007 and really liked so I just store it away and keep re-giving it to him on V. Day. He hasn't noticed yet. I wonder how many years I can keep this up? He always seems to enjoy it and comments on the fact that it's homemade.

So if I've saved some money with card giving, I certainly haven't with cell phone use. You need to know that I don't often have my phone on and really don't use it very much at all. But I turned it on Saturday as I was leaving the outlet mall in Woodburn and didn't get it thrown down on the seat in time. The officer caught me for that as well as for rolling through a stop sign. Uh-oh. I honestly didn't see the stop sign since I was just following a long queque of cars that seemed to be rolling along the same as I was. The officer didn't ticket me for the stop sign violation. But he certainly did find fault with the cell phone use, as well he should have. For someone who does not use this piece of technology all that much it still cost me $142.00. Guilty. No need to go to court. The check is in the mail. I will use my cell phone even less now or maybe I'll look into a hands free device since the car is such a good place to catch up on phone calls.

Radio Days

I am in the car much more often these days. And I seem to drive around at many of the same times. I always let the radio provide background sound for my wanderings and have found that I follow a listening pattern. Let me say that I just have a plain old am/fm radio in my car along with a CD player that I mainly use to play "Silly Tunes" for my grands and sometimes "The Best of BeeGees" for me. Okay. I do have some Beatles, Led Zeplin (is that spelled accurately?), Santana, Rod Stewart, Willy Nelson, etc. hanging around that I pop in and out depending on my mood. But I usually rely on the radio.
I always begin with NPR. I especially like "This American Life" on weekends and try to time my drives to Salem just so I can listen in. I get a kick out of "Car Talk" as well and like "Prairie Home Companion" once in a while, especially Guy Noir. "The Splendid Table" at 6:00 on Sunday evenings is a delight. If NPR is featuring a story set in the Middle East, I usually forgo it. I am tired of that part of the world. I also don't much listen to stories of countries whose locales I can't fathom. Features about The Netherlands or tropical sorts of places I do listen to. I'm not sure why. And I really like to listen to things about Alaska but not Sarah Palin. If NPR is not up to my preference, I switch immediately to the classical station. I have some favorites here as well. I'm in if it's Mozart, Beethoven, just about anything done by the St. Johns Wood Orchestra (again I'm guessing at titles here), guitar players and even Saturday morning opera once in a great while. But if the music is beyond my appreciation (string instruments slicing off what sounds like uneven notes to me) I'm out of it and on to "Mark and Brian" unless they are in one of their too offensive for me bits. Can't handle that stuff anymore unless it's really funny.
And here's my big confession: before she was kicked off the air, I was absolutely fascinated with Dr. Laura and the snide, disrespectful, obnoxious way she had with her callers. I would actually talk out loud to her reminding her that some mothers do indeed need to work full time and that ready sex isn't necessarily what women with straying husbands should counter with. She really made me laugh. I miss her. But thank goodness for NPR and the classical station along with KINK and the oldies but goodies stations. (And along the same lines, I find it amazing that I sometimes hear The Rolling Stones in the grocery store.)

Old Dogs and Their Tricks

My grand daughter Mary brought a set of jacks home from school today. She didn't know what they were so I explained and tried my hand at showing her how to play. I told her how "onesies" leads to "twosies" and so on as long as the player is successful in scooping up the correct number of jacks while the ball is in the air. I was a whiz at jacks when I was her age. I could hardly wait to impress her with my skill and fancy finger dexterity as I scooped up to "tensies." I didn't count on my astigmatism being quite as bad as it is or the fact that I'm getting accustomed to new, stronger glasses. I didn't factor in that the new ball is a plastic version of the very old rubber one that was much easier to control. Needless to say, there was no big show of Granny's ability as a queen of jacks. Mary kindly understood that my eyesight wasn't what it used to be and then was mightily impressed with how I can twirl a jack until it spins almost endlessly on the table top. Add another spinner and then another and, wow, Granny rules.

Eeny Beeny Bits of Time

Time takes on such new meanings when one isn't required to report to work. (That's just more comfortable for me to say instead of "when one is retired.") There are the regular, mundane chores and activities that need to be attended to daily and the same amount of time is used to perform them as when working. One can actually spend more time on some leisure activities such as solving the daily crossword or watching an extra program on HGTV. But it's the little increments of time that are beginning to stand out. For example, I have started allotting myself one hour to work on the new book; maybe 45 minutes mastering the brkyobrk stitch in knitting (which I have been thinking about A LOT lately; and perhaps setting aside 45-60 minutes to read during the day. I've never had to do this before. I just worked on those things of pleasure as time for them presented itself. Not so now. I even find myself micro-managing my very minutes of free time. An example might be: I will allow myself the time while my tea is steeping to look at my new recipe book. That may help me to decide what to cook when Lee and JoAnn come for card night next Tuesday. Or maybe I'll set up something like this: After I clean two bathrooms I can check my e-mail. As I mentioned, time management has drastically changed now that I don't have to factor in school work. This is quite fun. Now I have to find a video about that knitting stitch I've been thinking about.

The Year of the Pika

1/1/11: Who can resist writing this date? I certainly don't want to miss this one time opportunity. Among other things, the New Year reminds me of calendars and, therefore, of time management and how things will be now that I'm practicing retirement. I've already hung up our new Linnea calendar just as I've done every January First since 2004. I can't resist the art work and I like the tradition of using the same artistic reference year after year. But doing so prohibits the use of any other kind of calendar and the market place is stuffed with them. You can even get one for 50% off right now and maybe even 75% off if you wait another week or so. Can you even believe how many interesting, beautiful, amusing, unusual and ridiculous calendar subjects there are to be had? If not, just wander over to the kiosk at your nearest mall and study the choices.
No resolutions for me. I think we've all scared ourselves off this traditional practice because it's so difficult to determine goals or dreams as we experience our in-the-moment kind of lives. Instead, I like to think ahead about what MIGHT or COULD happen this year if I gather up just the right amount of energy and point it in just the right direction. Working toward that end, Bobbie and I have started a new writing adventure about pikas hence the title of this entry. She's done lots of field work. I took one amazing trip into the high country to see this little critter in its natural habitat and I'll take a few more in order to totally absorb their special environment. I've even done a little research and started the first part of the text. The focus of this project is becoming more finely tuned as the days go by and I'll get back to you about our progress. Happy New Year!