Extreme Eating

My goal is to lose 50 pounds by the time we leave for Maui in two weeks. I've already lost nine pounds. Yes, I know this is ridiculous. Every weight loss "plan" is ridiculous for the simple reason that they don't work. Oh sure, the extreme eater can lose a few pounds here on Weight Watchers, a few pounds there at Jenny Craig and maybe even some pounds on her own with plan and forethought, but the lbs. will slowly "inch" themselves back on.

What's up with that? Easy. We are eaters who are food obsessed and food addicted. Eating is a solemn ritual for us even as we dive bomb into the Safeway chocolate chip chunk cookies, holding one in our mouths and two in our hands as we juggle the phone and the current reading book on our way to the recliner. And, if you don't know about them, those Safeway cookies are BIG. It's all part of the ritual, I say. Just the thought of reading my book accompanied by the pleasure of sweet texture and chocolate can bring on a food high. Havarti cheese on Triscuits, any flavor of Ben and Jerry ice cream, a pile of hot pancakes with too much butter that is melting into syrupy pools on the plate. . .PASTRAMI ON RYE WITH SWISS! You get the idea: they produce a rush, a euphoria, a sense of total well-being and happiness that can be repeated with each little food binge.

Deprived of these sensual eating experiences, we go slightly mad. What's fun about 3.5 ounces of lean meat served up with a single fruit, a naked vegetable and a scrawny piece of Melba toast? And add in the lack of a fitting dessert and you have a dinner partner who is raging and crying inside.

These eaters need to figure out this major life challenge is not managed in little journals of food diaries or in groups of cheering dieters but inside their own heads. It all makes sense even to me. But I still take on whatever new diet gimmick comes along just to "give me a jump start" and then I'll be able to eat healthily on my own. Yeah, right. Wish me luck in Hawaii.